I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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