How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
