Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize