How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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