Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
