I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
