meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
thus making me awesome and them whores
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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