Joe is yelling at the trees again.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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