I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
