You were right. It hurts to walk today.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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