Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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