oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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