Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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