i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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