I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
