you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
