I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This house was built for laser tag.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
