the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
