he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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