when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
