I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
