I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Randomize
