My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize