My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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