Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
