I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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