I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize