If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
