My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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