dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
