i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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