they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
you had me at cake vodka
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
