cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
