you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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