I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
