Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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