if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize