i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
