dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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