Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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