i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
