i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
high people should be assigned attendants
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
