break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
