He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
