Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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