people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
