you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
