absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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