awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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