Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
where are my eyebrows?
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