So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
