I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
