In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
