my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
