Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
