all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I have fence marks all over my body
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
